December 2010
1 post
November 2010
3 posts
“Please tell me that was a tear in the space time continuum.”
– Eric Foreman
October 2010
10 posts
“So I could try to gain the weight, but chances are I’m probably gonna have...”
– Kevin Bacon and Ray, BTD
“Your shirt and tie are disgusto barfo.”
– Kelly, The Office
“you know, I was in the National Guard in Connecticut during the Vietnam...”
– Bored to Death
“George, I’m gonna speak frank. I’m out of shape and you’re...”
– Bored to Death
David has a long-standing jealousy of my iphone, and has requested I remove my iphone signature which says, “Sent from my iPhone,” because like I said, he’s jealous. So when I addressed his jealousy, he replied,
“Blah blah blah.
Sent from my office computer at 270 Madison Ave.”
lols.
edit: He’s upgraded to: “Sent from my office computer on the 10th...
Ughhhhhhhh I’m so fucking sick. Fuck you David and fuck you wisdom teeth, the right side—specifically.
No thanks what-so-ever.
Me
“Yeah, and if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass when he hops.”
– Red Foreman
Stolen from David →
A - Age: 23.
B - Bed size: queen bitches. Side note: I have the BEST bed ever.
C - Chore you hate: cleaning of any kind.
D - Don’t eat: insects of the sea.
E - Essential start your day item: 5 alarm snoozes—at least.
F - Favourite board game: scrabble.
G - Gold or Silver: White gold.
H - Height: 5’7.5”—legit.
I - Instruments you play: air trombone.
J - Job...
“I think it all stems from the fact that I was….I was probed. By an alien...”
– Michael Scott
September 2010
12 posts
http://www.cerealmarshmallows.com/ordernow.aspx →
txea:
Where you one of those kids who only ate the marshmallows in a box of Lucky Charms? Above and you can buy a 95 lb bag of cereal marshmallows for $400.
Chinese Food
My mom has hated Chinese food since as far back as I can remember. Recently she has began ordering with us, and she has been consistently getting crab yummy. Being that crab yummy consists of something like a cream cheese and crab mixture wrapped in dough and fried, I’m led to believe 100% that she is only ordering it because she likes to say it.
“Oh, hey. They seem like a good group; except the one with the mouth, he’s...”
– M&M
Dear Summer,
I must say it’s really sad to see you go, but my tears will dry next week when the tv fall lineup starts and you will become a distant memory; at least until the winter comes when I’ll miss you the most.
I wish for a short winter so I can see you again soon!
“Things may come to those who wait…but only the things left by those who...”
– Abraham Lincoln
My sister hacked into my facebook, and changed my facebook profile blurb to the following:
the inside of my car smells like a box of crayons. i’m so obsessed with pappy i let him sleep in my bed with a dirty ass. and no my hair color is not real.paaaahahahahahahahaha.
Dear Heather, I can appreciate this. Signed, Me
August 2010
6 posts
Slacker
I’ve been missing for some time on this here tumblr. I am still busy, but will be back soon. Scouts honor.
WatchLoooooooooooves Florence + the machine like whoa. She’s a bit weird, but that’s ok with me. It’s called dog days are over. Listen to it—often.
July 2010
19 posts
“If you think nobody cares you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
– pahahaaaaa. Courtesy of a friend of a friend on the book of faces in response to said friend’s wall post.
“Today I have Matt Damon on the brain. He’s a real man, I bet he’s...”
– Trina
Hot hot heat and Hershey's with Almonds
I went with my bestie last Friday to see Twilight, and true to form she went to CVS to purchase candies for our cheap consumption. When we were seated she asked me, “what do you want? chewy sprees or Hershey’s with almonds?” I said, “chewy sprees” and was none the wiser to what would follow. Fast forward 8 hours, we are in her car traveling to our local Stop &...
“Would modern day Rapunzel have clip in extensions or a really good weave? Just...”
– requoted by Laura Pidgers Pidgy Ann Capeci
Late Announcement
I’m here to inform you that my bachelor’s degree qualifies me to water my boss’ plants. That and to impersonate her on all personal and company financial institution calls. That’s about it.
“Wait, Twilight and bowling in the same day? I just died and went to heaven with...”
– Pidgy update
“I hope that she has a bastard child and never goes to college.”
– Heather
“R-patz and bowling in one week? Christmas has come early.”
– Pidge
Cloggery
Cloggery is a word just invented by yours truly. It’s part of speech is unidentifiable, and may or may not be a verb or an adjective, if anything. It’s currently being debated.
Please use it in a sentence: That shit’s cloggery.
It’s definition, you ask? It means to clog something up. Why don’t you say, x clogs up y, you ask? Because I was too lazy to hit backspace...
Abrasive
Preface: I slept over David’s last night because we went out for dinns and I didn’t want to drive home only to come back to Queens for work this morning.
Anyone who knows me, knows I hate the morning. David knows—very well. That didn’t stop him from waking me from a deep slumber and immediately annoying my life. It only took about 2 seconds for me to get very angry and...
Dear David,
Today marks 5 years—give or take. Now, I know we are not married, but the traditional gift for 5 years of marriage (which I’ve decided I will use for our anni) is wood. I’ve traversed the internets to find you some wonderful gifts. I hope that you will enjoy them:
1. Engraved silver/wood chopsticks for you to look at while you use a fork.
2. A wooden shoe remover...
