1. 07 July 2010 ยท 12:18 PM

    Dear David,

    Today marks 5 years—give or take. Now, I know we are not married, but the traditional gift for 5 years of marriage (which I’ve decided I will use for our anni) is wood. I’ve traversed the internets to find you some wonderful gifts. I hope that you will enjoy them:

    1. Engraved silver/wood chopsticks for you to look at while you use a fork.

    2. A wooden shoe remover for when your other foot or both of your hands are incapacitated.

    3. A wooden apple bottle opener so you have no more finger casualties.

    4. A Japanese Red Maple Tree to grow in your room. They grow to be 30’ high and 20’ wide. It might be a tight squeeze.

    5. A wooden CD case to house your prized Alanis Morrisette CD.

    6. You’re not lucky genetically, but maybe some of mine will rub off on you.

    7. A beaded seat cushion to reaaaaally class up you first car.

    8. And last but not least, Jesus beads. For you to find your way back home and to eternal life.

    I <3 your guts and hope that you will cherish my gifts to you.

    Fergie-Ferg gonna love you long time,

    Me

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